I've come to the conclusion that, ultimately, everything in life is disappointing and unsatisfying. Education, jobs, friendships, hobbies, plans, dreams, religion – everything will let you down, everything ends sooner or later, and everything is unsatisfying.
Only new things can be satisfying for a short while, then the novelty wears off and you crave something else. Life is an endless cycle of craving, disappointment, regret, and unfulfillment.
Buddhism says the way to escape this cycle is by quieting your mind, ridding yourself of all craving, aversion, and ignorance until you reach a perfectly peaceful mental state. The book Ecclesiastes says the way is to find enjoyment in eating, drinking, and working. The Apostle Paul said the way is to live sacrificially for Jesus.
I want to feel like I'm living, not just surviving. Hopefully I can figure out how to do that. Hopefully soon.
I feel ya, Tobin!
ReplyDeleteOne of the times I feel the most unsatisfied is transition. In particular, the transition from college to work life. The speed at which I and everyone else grew in Christ and had community was very unsatisfying and depressing to me. Praying for you in your transition through dissatisfaction in life. It is there. And you're not alone.
ReplyDelete